When I Loved Myself Enough

Some years ago a woman named Kim McMillian, after a lifetime suffering from doubt and self-criticism, discovered the importance of loving herself, and the incredible difference it made in every aspect of her life. It was the key that unlocked the dungeon of the torture chamber into which she had imprisoned herself. Shortly afterwards she wrote a book where each page contained just a few lines relating to her newfound discovery. It has the catchy title, When I loved myself enough, it was very popular and had huge sales worldwide. Unfortunately she died just a few months after writing the book. At only 53, and not knowing she was ill, this was to be her essence and final message to the world.                           

​The book is still available so I am not going to reproduce her work. However on a recent retreat I invited the participants to write their own book based on the same title. This weeks reflections are based largely on what they came up with, and when finished reading you might like to write your own and perhaps email them to me so I can compile for a future posting.
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When I loved myself enough, I would allow things to happen and not try and force them.
When I loved myself enough, I would allow other to be who they are and not try and change them.
When I loved myself enough, I would admit when I am wrong and not just say ‘sorry’.
When I loved myself enough, I would feel my feelings and not try to analyze them.
When I loved myself enough, I would befriend my difficult emotions and so give them space to transform.
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When I loved myself enough, I would not try and change myself, Instead I would accept myself as I am with all my imperfections.
When I loved myself enough, I would stop being critical and judgmental towards myself and others.
When I loved myself enough, I would not argue with my hunches and go more with my gut instincts.
When I loved myself enough, I would stop blaming others and take responsibility for my own feelings and reactions.
When I loved myself enough, I would stop playing it safe and take far more risks with the game of life.
When I loved myself enough, I would allow myself to feel and not slip into denial and evasive ways, like reaching for my phone.
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When I loved myself enough, I would declutter my home and make space for new and exciting possibilities to materialize.
When I loved myself enough, I would stop being invisible and playing small.
When I loved myself enough, I would let me light shine and allow my gifts to be a gift to others.
When I loved myself enough, I would see my loneliness as an invitation to come more home to myself.
When I loved myself enough, I would speak to myself with respect and compassion.
When I loved myself enough, I would listen to my body and not push it beyond its limits.
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When I loved myself enough, I would take care of my needs and not feel guilty.
When I loved myself enough, I would give freely to others without questioning motives.
When I loved myself enough, I would stop trying to be perfect and allow myself to become whole.
When I loved myself enough, I would stop comparing myself with others.
When I loved myself enough, I would accept my limitations and weaknesses.
When I loved myself enough, I would meditate and give myself time to recharge my batteries.
When I loved myself enough, I no longer needed to impress anyone.
When I loved myself enough, I would indulge myself with silence.

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When I loved myself enough, I would be my own best friend and not my worst enemy.
When I loved myself enough, I would treat myself to nice things regularly.
When I loved myself enough, I would not allow myself the luxury of a negative thought.
When I loved myself enough, I would cease struggling and practice the art of surrender.
When I loved myself enough, I would try to own every part of my personal story.
When I loved myself enough, I would embrace my family story, with all its characters because without my ancestors I would not be here.
When I loved myself enough, I would embrace even the very worst traits in my character and the contradictions of my personality.

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